To all the fellow fathers out there: Time to join forces to avoid another lame card, some kitschy tripe that pokes fun at your golf game and voracious appetite for beer and another package of socks. This Father’s Day, forget about dropping subtle gift ideas and tell her exactly what you want. In other words, go big or go home.
Dale Earnhardt, Beware
If you’re having a leisurely Sunday morning brunch with your wife, simply look up from that lumberjack stack of pancakes and say, “Darling, I want a racecar driving package, a checkered flag and a bouquet of white roses at the finish line.” Prices start at $365 and you my friend, can have a NASCAR racing experience and drive the track on your own. Packages available at speedways across the country.
Photo of a Porsche racecar by Axion23 via Flickr
Summertime and the Living is Easy
It’s warm outside. You’ve put on the Bermuda shorts, the Tom Cruise Ray-Bans, and once again taken your station on the deck as grill master. The annual summer beach vacation isn’t too far off. And when you get there, you’re going to need flip-flops and a bottle opener. No worries. Father’s Day gift idea No. 2: adjustable BYOB sandals from Reef have a bottle opener embedded in the sole. According to today.com, these sandals retail for $50. Next stop: Margaritaville.
Photo of bottle-opening sandals by zieak via Flickr
Take Me Out the the Ballgame
You know your wife doesn’t love baseball. She’d rather watch paint dry on a wall than slog through a nine-inning game of peanut chomping, beer swilling and obnoxious fandom. But hey, it’s Father’s Day. Besides, weren’t you forced to endure a romantic comedy marathon last Mother’s Day? Seriously, how much shirtless Matthew McConaughey can one guy take? In other words, don’t be shy. When she asks you what you want for Father’s Day all you have to say is, “Take me out to the ballgame.” A box of crackerjacks would be nice, too.
Boldly Go Where no Man Has Gone Before
You’re a tech head, geeked-out on the idea of flying cars and colonies on Mars. How many times have you made that certain someone sit through “2001: A Space Odyssey”? Sure, she likes technology too, but when it comes to new, high-tech gear, her knowledge ends with the latest app. Hints won’t work, so spell it out. “Other than you, sweetie, all I ever want in life was the Cube Laser Virtual Keyboard for iPhone and iPad.” Yes, that’s right, I said laser — as in laser beams.
This gadget projects a laser keyboard onto any surface, allowing you the convenience of full-size typing. Tired of struggling to type quickly on an iPhone or iPad? The Cube Laser enables you to turn your iPhone or device into a virtual PC keyboard. According to thinkgeek.com, this gadget sells for $125.99.
Photo of a laser keyboard by BlairSnow via Wikimedia Commons
This year it’s time to man-up and tell her exactly what you want for Father’s Day. If not, you know what happens.
Guest Author Donald Lewis is a dentist and a health writer from San Diego.