To the old guy at the buffet

To the old guy next to me in line at the buffet:

RELAX you ARM!  YOU CAN GO BACK for  second trip if you want.  That’s why they call it a buffet!

So yesterday I am standing there in line at the local sushi buffet, and I glance up to my right and see this elderly gentleman (I’m being nice) standing next to me.  He has a plate, umm…., I mean a PILE of sushi with him.  He looks like he is becoming disgruntled with the plate, the tongs, and all this is right with the world at the sushi bar.

I mean this IS the place where you come to eat, RIGHT?  What’s to be mad about?

Not this guy.  He came to die!  I mean, if he ate all of what was on his plate, he was going to drop dead before he got his fortune cookie, and that wasn’t the worst part of what should be a happy situation to be in.

You see, he was in a fight, not for his life, but with the sushi itself.  He was chasing the sushi around the serving plate with the tongs, like it was a hockey puck on a fresh sheet of ice.  He didn’t quite understand the “clamp and move” method of a proper sushi catch and eat program.  He was more interested, and maybe thought it was more of a sport, to try and shovel it onto the bottom tong, and then toss it toward his plate.  What made it funny, what that he wasn’t very good at it, which wasn’t so evident by the pile of mixed muck of fish, rice, salmon skin, wasabi, and other unknown parts on his plate.

So as I stood in line, watching both him and the two sushi chefs (who were also watching him), he made a fatal mistake..

Oops! His plate, his catch, his mound of mackerel seemed to slip out of his hands, and down it went…

I think I gasped, but only for a second, then it was “Dude, what are you DOING!”  I’m not sure if that slipped from my mouth or not, either way,  I don’t think he was in any condition to hear me.. He was busy chasing his next re-catch that was escaping his claws to fall on the the edge of the buffet.  As soon as the 4-5 pieces had gotten away from him, the sushi chef reached over the bar with a plate.

I was expecting “NO MORE SUSHI FOR YOU”,

But, he politely pointed at the plate, and then to the sushi.  The old guy, looked at him and then picked up the pieces that he had dropped and put them on the extra plate, and then:

HE LEFT THEM.

Half on the bar, half on TOP of the other sushi.  Because, well, at that point, I thought he had given up and was going to return quietly to his seat.

BUT HE DIDN’T

He continued on down the next 20ft of buffet, scooping salmon skin rolls, mangling sashimi pieces, and even some seaweed salad onto his pile-O-food.  Now it wasn’t a plate, it was a mini trough.  He had a good 10-12 inches of food on top of the plate.  Thanks to his 80yr old scooping skills, the once tightly rolled pieces were now a mess of muck and rice.  All pieces were mixed together in a sort of “Sushi suprise” or  “Sushi casserole”.

Disgusting!  I managed to get past it for a minute and walk back to my seat but,

I had 3 thoughts while I was walking back to my seat with my plate of nicely separate sushi rolls:

1. Respect the elderly.  They have been many places that you haven’t, and have earned the right to be “old” and even decrepit if they want/need to.

2. Don’t laugh… others are watching and you will make them laugh too, especially when they realize that you too are looking at the old fart with the mountain of fish parts on his plate.

3. Forget #1, I want to slap this old man!  Age is no excuse for ignorance.  Get 2, or heck even 3 plates if you need them.  I will help you tote them, but don’t muck up the sushi bar just because you are old.

 

But hey, for 10 bucks including tip, where else could I get good food and this kind of entertainment?

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